12/22 IV

I don't feel like doing anything. I don't feel like living. I'm supposed to take a shower. And go shopping for Christmas.
I don't want to.
And I don't feel good.
I'm scared i'll get a stomach ache on Christmas
I hope not
Because I want to get drunk until I can't remember my name
Until I can't remember I want to die

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

12/23 IV

I need to stop thinking for a while. Just... wait. Tomorrow, you can drink, forget, eat all you can. I won't die, sadly. The odds of me dying just from drinking alcohol are very low. I would only have brain damage, and my stomach washed or whatever they do in those cases. But I want to dissolve into christmas. The dinner. The drinks. The fruit salad. I can dress up, and be fancy. For no one to see. Just like I do every year. I can pretend everything's normal. And in a sense it is. I am alone, depressed and hopeless. Seems about right. Classical holidays for Ella Blomfeld. A part of me wishes one day for that yo change. But we know that's not going to happen. I won't ever have a happy holidays with people I love, while being healthy. It's unrealistic.
Read more

12/22 II

He stopped talking to me Maybe something happened Or maybe he hates me And I did something wrong And it's my fault No one wants to be friends with someone broken.
Read more